Every once in a while, my co-workers are confronted with complicated challenges that are clearly in over their heads!

Here are three such stories.

Wang Qiu Yue
Preteens Ministry, 20 years in preteens and youth work

(Qiu Yue (right) with a student having a meal)

I first got to know this youth with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) when he was 10. He was sweet and pleasant. I was impressed with his English vocabulary. During our weekly programme, he would walk about while the session was on. He had meltdowns often, especially when provoked by other students’ words or over losing a game.

During one particularly bad meltdown, we got the other students out of the room so as not to traumatise them, and we managed to calm him down. We needed to handle each meltdown differently and looked to God. This youth was with us for three years. It took a lot of coordinating with his parents, teachers and volunteers to persevere in this journey with him. When I look back, I knew God was in control.

We had the joy of seeing him graduate from primary school four years ago.

Angela Ow
20th year in Secondary School & Junior College Ministry

(Angela (2nd row, right) together with the SJM team)

After forging a friendship with a volunteer and me, this 15-year-old girl sent many long messages recounting her relational problems, past hurts, and daily school struggles. Before knowing us, she searched out different mental health websites and “diagnosed” herself. She claimed she was suffering from PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) and other mental disorders.

My volunteer and I were hesitant to agree with her. Was her self-labeling a result of too much influence from social media and the internet? Was she allowing the online narrative to shape her self-perception?

While she was confiding in us, her parents were “kept totally in the dark” about her anxieties and fears. She was reluctant to tell them, assuming they wouldn’t understand. We wanted to help but would only accede to her request with her parents’ involvement. We would accompany her to a counselor only with their permission. After some persuasion, she disclosed her struggles in a letter to them. They understood and sought help.

This girl is meeting a Christian psychologist regularly and I continue to keep up with her.

Joycelyn Cheong
8th year in Youth Guidance Ministry

(Joycelyn celebrating her birthday!)

I have known R for at least seven years. She stayed at a girl’s hostel when her mother and older brothers were incarcerated. When depressed, she resorted to self-harm tendencies and alcohol. When no longer in the hostel, R was left to fend for herself. She stopped her medication, returned to alcohol addiction, did not reply her social worker’s messages but confided in me.

On three occasions, I called the police and ambulance because R cut herself. In two of those episodes, I was the only one with her before help arrived. I must confess I was fearful for my own safety. I accompanied her to court and the police station when she was charged with violent conduct and later visited her at IMH (Institute of Mental Health).

I have not met R for some time. We connect online and I hope to celebrate her birthday.

I recalled as a young youth worker I was hesitant and fearful to talk to teachers and parents. Thankfully, Qiu Yue and Angela wisely brought in the parents, teachers, and other professional help. Joycelyn could have gone to R’s aid with another co-worker and not alone so as not to compromise her own safety.

All three ladies agree that their years in youth ministry could not have prepared them for what they had to go through. They were “thrown into the deep end.” But they experienced God’s goodness, faithfulness, and love as they journeyed with the three youths.

Seek Help

National Care Hotline: 1800-202-6868 (8am-8pm)

IMH Mental Health Helpline: 6389-2222 (24 hours)

Samaritans of Singapore: 1800-221-4444 (24 hours)

TOUCHline Counselling: 1800-377-2252

Lionel Chan serves in EDGE, reaching out to the sporty youth of today.